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Welcome to my blog. I am Elizabeth Kleinfeld, Assistant Professor of English and Writing Center Director at Metropolitan State College of Denver. Here are 100 things about me.
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    (rules as they come to me)

    1. If a meeting has a specified end time, leave at that time, even if the meeting isn't over.
    2. If a meeting does not have a specified end time, call the meeting convener and ask when the meeting will end. Leave at the specified end time.
    3. Bring something to work on in case the meeting starts late.

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    my favorite Billy Collins poem

    posted Sunday, 10 May 2009
    Victoria's Secret

    by Billy Collins

    The one in the upper-left-hand corner
    is giving me a look
    that says I know you are here
    and I have nothing better to do
    for the remainder of human time
    than return your persistent but engaging stare.
    She is wearing a deeply scalloped
    flame-stitch halter top
    with padded push-up styling
    and easy side-zip tap pants.

    The one on the facing page, however,
    who looks at me over her bare shoulder,
    cannot hide the shadow of annoyance in her brow.
    You have interrupted me,
    she seems to be saying,
    with your coughing and your loud music.
    Now please leave me alone;
    let me finish whatever it was I was doing
    in my organza-trimmed
    whisperweight camisole with
    keyhole closure and point d'esprit mesh back.

    I wet my thumb and flip the page.
    Here, the one who happens to be reclining
    in a satin and lace merry widow
    with an inset lace-up front,
    decorated underwire cups and bodice
    with lace ruffles along the bottom
    and hook-and-eye closure in the back,
    is wearing a slightly contorted expression,
    her head thrust back, mouth partially open,
    a confusing mixture of pain and surprise
    as if she had stepped on a tack
    just as I was breaking down
    her bedroom door with my shoulder.

    Nor does the one directly beneath her
    look particularly happy to see me.
    She is arching one eyebrow slightly
    as if to say, so what if I am wearing nothing
    but this stretch panne velvet bodysuit
    with a low sweetheart neckline
    featuring molded cups and adjustable straps.
    Do you have a problem with that?!

    The one on the far right is easier to take,
    her eyes half-closed
    as if she were listening to a medley
    of lullabies playing faintly on a music box.
    Soon she will drop off to sleep,
    her head nestled in the soft crook of her arm,
    and later she will wake up in her
    Spandex slip dress with the high side slit,
    deep scoop neckline, elastic shirring,
    and concealed back zip and vent.

    But opposite her,
    stretched out catlike on a couch
    in the warm glow of a paneled library,
    is one who wears a distinctly challenging expression,
    her face tipped up, exposing
    her long neck, her perfectly flared nostrils.
    Go ahead, her expression tells me,
    take off my satin charmeuse gown
    with a sheer, jacquard bodice
    decorated with a touch of shimmering Lurex.
    Go ahead, fling it into the fireplace.
    What do I care, her eyes say, we're all going to hell anyway.

    I have other mail to open,
    but I cannot help noticing her neighbor
    whose eyes are downcast,
    her head ever so demurely bowed to the side
    as if she were the model who sat for Correggio
    when he painted "The Madonna of St. Jerome,"
    only, it became so ungodly hot in Parma
    that afternoon, she had to remove
    the traditional blue robe
    and pose there in his studio
    in a beautifully shaped satin teddy
    with an embossed V-front,
    princess seaming to mold the bodice,
    and puckered knit detail.

    And occupying the whole facing page
    is one who displays that expression
    we have come to associate with photographic beauty.
    Yes, she is pouting about something,
    all lower lip and cheekbone.
    Perhaps her ice cream has tumbled
    out of its cone onto the parquet floor.
    Perhaps she has been waiting all day
    for a new sofa to be delivered,
    waiting all day in stretch lace hipster
    with lattice edging, satin frog closures,
    velvet scrollwork, cuffed ankles,
    flare silhouette, and knotted shoulder straps
    available in black, champagne, almond,
    cinnabar, plum, bronze, mocha,
    peach, ivory, caramel, blush, butter, rose, and periwinkle.
    It is, of course, impossible to say,
    impossible to know what she is thinking,
    why her mouth is the shape of petulance.

    But this is already too much.
    Who has the time to linger on these delicate
    lures, these once unmentionable things?
    Life is rushing by like a mad, swollen river.
    One minute roses are opening in the garden
    and the next, snow is flying past my window.
    Plus the phone is ringing.
    The dog is whining at the door.
    Rain is beating on the roof.
    And as always there is a list of things I have to do
    before the night descends, black and silky,
    and the dark hours begin to hurtle by,
    before the little doors of the body swing shut
    and I ride to sleep, my closed eyes
    still burning from all the glossy lights of day.

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