Pregnant and public property
- “Strangers pester her with advice out of the blue. People may feel free to reach out and touch her stomach like it's become public property. If she's doing something that doesn't meet with the standards of whomever happens to be watching, she's may be publicly reprimanded in ways that other adults would never be.” (When I was pregnant, strangers groped not just my belly but my breasts—more than once. And one time, a woman asked me, in a crowded elevator, if I had hemorrhoids. I don’t remember how I responded; I like to think I said something witty and caustic, but it’s equally likely that I froze in shock.)
- “. . . the baby had better not inconvenience anyone by crying, or she's clearly a bad mom. Adults out in public oughtn't to have to put up with crying babies. Ever. That's for their mom to put up with by herself. At home. Because chicks really dig having the company of no one besides an infant whose vocabulary consists of burps and earsplitting wails. If dad puts up with it though, he's a hero.” (Every time my dad witnesses T being an attentive father, he reminds me that I should be grateful—implying that T is doing “my job.”)
- “The baby had better not inconvenience anyone else by being hungry, either. Because if mom breastfeeds, well, that's just disgusting. And no one should have to see it. Ewww. Even if it prevents the infant making very loud noises that no one really wants to listen to. She should only do that at home. By herself. Or maybe with other mothers, who are also at home. Why can't she bottlefeed, already? Or pump? Or, if she does bottlefeed, why doesn't she care about her baby enough to breastfeed?” (One time I was breastfeeding Lily in a “ladies’ lounge” at a department store and a woman came in to use the bathroom. When she saw us—completely covered up, I might add—she said, “OH!!! Please let me know when you’re finished!” and she stomped out of the lounge and paced outside for ten minutes until we were done. Meanwhile, other people came and went and seemed unbothered by us.)
I am guilty of rubbing bellies, but I do ask permission first. Most of the
time I get a smile especially when I talk to the tummy and ask it how it is
doing. I do it for good luck and also to find out what the mother is
having. I have predicted the correct gender and number of children with
amazing accuracy. In fact I told a friend of mine that she was having twin
boys right after the doctor showed her an ultrasound and informed her that
she was having a girl. I was right and the doctor was wrong. Now my
friend dosent talk to me anymore. She said that I changed the outcome on
purpose and took her daughter from her. Anyway... thanks to all the
mom-to-bes for letting me rub their tummy, I have enjoyed the luck that it
has always brought me.
And thanks to the gods for babies that cry and eat, if they aren't crying
and eating then somthing is wrong.
Great post Liz, unfortunatly I think that the people who should be reading
it aren't going to.
Rubbing bellies with permission is ok, but you might be surprised (or not)
by how many people feel that permission isn't necessary. (It's kind of like
how you'd think that dog owners would think it appropriate to apologize
after their urinates in your yard right in front of you--but again, many do
not.)
blogarama
